• Tracey L Glass

Last Year Was A Failure

Last year sucked.

Sure, we got hit with a pandemic and a bunch of other things but I got lucky in that sense. The pandemic didn't change my life. I still worked normal hours (in childcare) and I never really went out much anyway. Avoiding people is a habit. Wearing a mask never bothered me. If anything, I've never been so healthy around this time of year. For once I'm not coughing up a lung.

So, yeah, I'm pretty lucky when it comes to all of the events that happened in 2020. Though, I did have one big change, that was planned. I moved. Moving wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't move away from all of those things I was comfortable with. I had to find a new job (which went well), and get used to this new place I was going to call home for the next few years.

For some people, this probably wouldn't be a big deal but I'm not good with change. Even though I was looking forward to this change it didn't stop me from being anxious about certain things. A lot of what-if situations popped in my head - which is normal for me.

After everything, I was doing fine. I was working hard on editing a novella but I wasn't actually going anywhere with my writing. I just kept writing and rewriting the same things over and over again. Perfectionism hit me hard, and suddenly everything wasn't good enough. I decided to change my focus to writing but...I wasn't getting anywhere with that.

It wasn't until November when I realized that I haven't finished anything writing related. I haven't finished a draft in any stage. That was a bit alarming to me. I was knocking out my word count goal but...I wasn't actually making progress in my work.

Mid-November, I decided to ditch my NaNo Novel. I'd already written 50k and won so it didn't matter to me if I switched. I decided to work on a personal project and my goal was to finish by the end of December. Since it was a first draft, I wasn't expecting it to be long so I thought it was a manageable goal. I also jumped back on 4theWords which helped me write everyday and I got to fight monsters along the way.

It worked out pretty well...except for all of the 10k days I had to do just to be able to finish writing my novel by December 26th.

I went beyond my yearly word count goal, which was great but finishing a novel (no matter how terrible it is) was probably my best accomplishment of 2020. But I still felt like I wasted a whole year.

Which is why I decided to change my focus this year. My goal is to accomplish as much as I can by the end of December 2021. My word this year is Accomplish just to drive it home. I might not publish anything in this whole year but I want to get closer to that step. I'm also going to acknowledge my smaller accomplishments. Finishing an art study counts as a small achievement. Completing a map. Reading a book (such a fail last year). Posting to social media regularly. These are all great small accomplishments that I need to learn to celebrate.

I'm not going to wear myself out either. I'm trying to be a little more reasonable with myself. Pushing myself to the limits at the end of December wasn't fun, and I don't want a repeat of that.

So, throughout 2021, I'm hoping to post more about my journey through the year. Hopefully this year will be much better than the last.

(This doesn't just mean writing either. Accomplish can encompass anything in my life.)


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© 2020 by Tracey L. Glass